Have you heard this Stevie Ray Vaughan song, Tell Me?
“Well now tell me….
What in the world can be wrong
I said tell me….
What in the world can be wrong
Woke up this mornin’….
Trouble knockin’ at my door”
This song is my life motto currently. Trouble did come knocking at my door yesterday morning. Or bad luck, I’m not sure which. I turned on the front burner when I woke up yesterday morning. Except I wanted to turn on the back burner, where the teapot actually was. There was a 9 x 13 Pyrex container sitting on the front burner, that continued to heat up. A few minutes later, it shattered, exploding into glass shards all over my kitchen. One unlucky piece hit my Achilles tendon in my left foot, swiping it with it’s sharp edge.
This happened around 8:45. At 9:30, I found out I could have torn my tendon. At 11 o’clock I found out, that I did in fact tear my tendon. My car battery died on the way to the third doctor, but we finally made it there via the boyfriend’s mom. At 2:45, I was told that I torn (sliced?) my tendon about half way through. I could chose to have surgery or not, the tendon was going to heal either way.
I have had a string of bad luck and injuries and 2012 has been quite the year. Not all bad things, but unfortunately, those are what stick out the most to me. Three days stick out very clearly in my mind: February 24th was the day of my arm surgery, August 16th was the day I ruptured my Achilles tendon ( and my car battery died.) And now, August 21st, next Tuesday, the day I get my foot operated on.
I have gone from running a marathon last year to having two surgeries within six months of each other, one of which will make me unable to run for at least six months. I used to say that I was a very healthy person. I was active, ate well, didn’t smoke, you know, the whole bit. I loved checking off all those no-s at doctor’s office forms about surgeries and conditions. Now, I’m not sure what I am. Calling myself “healthy” seems like a stretch for me. My body is trying to heal itself in several places now and have really limited physical activity that I can do. I feel broken.
I do feel lucky to have the people I do in my life. There was nothing good about yesterday, except that my boyfriend was with me through it all. If he hadn’t been there when I cut myself, I don’t know how I would have gotten myself to a doctor. He held my hand when I got shots in my foot and remained calm while I had a melt down in my dead car. I feel grateful that my sister lives in town and that I can see at least one family member in a time of distress and my parents were supportive as always. My boyfriend’s parents came and bailed us out, his mom taking me to my appointment and then his dad jumping my car to get it started again. My friends rallied around me and offered to take care of me, instantly offering their support and love. Situations of high distress can really show who your friends are, and I have some of the best.
There’s line from Seabiscuit that my dad always quotes, and it’s one of my favorites too. Seabiscuit has fractured his leg and may not be able to race again. The vet tells the owner that he can put the horse down for him, if he wants. The owner looks at the vet and says
“You don’t throw a whole life away, just because it’s banged up a little.”
I may be a little banged up right now, but I am still alive. It’s a long road ahead for me, and although it is difficult to remain positive right now, I’m going to learn how to be. I will come out stronger on the end of this.