Hyalophobia: a fear of glass.
More specifically, a fear of breaking glass. I wouldn’t say I have a full blown phobia of glass, but the sound of shattering glass makes my stomach drop out. My calf twitches, remembering that shard of glass.
This morning, I made my tea in a pint glass because I wanted to drink more than a usual mug holds. I was reaching behind the full glass to set something on top of the microwave, I hit the glass. It fell off the counter and shattered all over the floor. Broken glass again.
Honestly, the first thing I did was shed a few tears. I felt pretty stupid, standing there in the kitchen, balancing on one leg and watching tea seep all over the floor. I didn’t even have paper towels to wipe up the tea. All I wanted was to sit on the couch, drink my tea and read.
I must have been accident prone today because I messed up my breakfast too. When I was taking pictures of my mayo eggs this morning, I lost my balance and grabbed onto the table that my breakfast was on. Egg and rice went all over my carpet. It wasn’t even 9 o’clock yet and I wanted to throw the towel in on this day. At least the cat got to try some of my mayo eggs. She approved.
So, I decided to go for a drive. Going for long drives makes me feel better. I’ve been going on these drives ever since I got my driver’s license. I find the driving soothing and meditative. It’s an easy way to be completely alone. I never have a destination either; I just want to drive.
Today, my only goal was to see some changing Fall colors. I probably won’t be able to hike this Fall, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see the turning leaves. In search of golden Aspen leaves and relief from my sadness, I took off. I hit gold.
Aspen tree are my favorite tree. I like that they share a root system, and become one organism. They appear independent above the soil, but below they are intertwined and ever connected. They have beautiful leaves in the summer too. The leaves have a shine that catches the light, so when the wind blows through them, it looks like they’re sparkling. There were Aspen trees around every corner that I drove. Spilling down gorges, peaking from between pine trees, and lining the highway, those sunny trees were everywhere.
Those trees and that drive made me feel happy again. I may not be able to walk, but I can see. I saw autumnal beauty all around me today, morphing from one hue to the next. It’s hard to be sad when it’s such a lovely time of year to go for a drive.